Yesterday I had my annual summer lesson on driving my husband’s tractor. Driving the tractor is on my list of “Life Skills to Avoid.” This is an evolving list which includes such items as adding toner to the copier at work, power-washing the back porch and putting air into the car tires. These are things in which I have actively sought to cultivate a complete lack of skill, thereby recusing myself from the chore.
Nonetheless, since I needed to move mulch and my husband wasn’t going to be home, I agreed to the tractor lesson. (I have indeed been given this lesson before, but as part of my endeavor to cultivate a total lack of proficiency, I deleted all directions from virtual memory following usage last summer.)
My patient and bemused husband patiently told me the function for each lever and knob, watching to make sure I could indeed operate the bucket correctly. After my first successful maneuver I asked him about another lever on the left side of the seat.
“What is a PTO? I’m sure it isn’t a Parent Teacher Organization,” I remarked.
“That is the Power Take Off,” he responded nonchalantly.
“The WHAT?” I asked incredulously.
“The Power Take Off,” he restated. As the words left his mouth, I began to laugh uncontrollably, until I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Between my gasps for air, I kept repeating “The Power Take Off?” When I could speak, I asked if there was also an eject button and parachute.
The PTO lever is now my favorite part of the tractor. I’m sure the engineers at John Deere has some more mundane function in mind, but having a PTO is such a wonderful idea. If I had such a lever, I pull it every morning as my alarm went off. An extra surge of energy would be just what my body needs at 5:30 AM. And think how useful it could be when pulling out into traffic. And, if children could be given a PTO, it would be an amazing development. My first block of the day, when my sleep-deprived students are staring into space, I could just throw the PTO lever and off we would go. Forget an “easy button,” I want a PTO lever!
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Debra, you've written another enjoyable piece. I, too, have certain "life skills to avoid" and my husband has a list (for me) as well. Your writing really reaches so many readers because the topics are relevant to many of our lives. I like the way you imagine the possibilities for the power take off button. I did want to remind you to be sure to indicate which piece you would like feedback on for your writer's workshop assignment. If you did so already and I missed it, I apologize.
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